The psychological standard most of us live by is a completely wrong view of things: the assumption of cause and effect. Rudimentary models that explain gravity and machines. Humans are not machines.
People do not function on the basis of cause and effect. Gravity is proportional and always the same. Weight is proportional always the same. How people react to something is always different. Our brains find reassurance in the assumption that every effect has its cause. „Because this happened to me as a child, I am like this today“ is a rational story of cause and effect that makes my life harder or easier today.
We believe too often that we have to solve something in the past so that we can move forward in today. What cause would have to change for you to live differently?
Digging in the past has only one effect on the future: When the meaning of the past in your head changes today. Here and now you have everything that has brought you here and now.
There is nothing to be found in the past that could change anything today – except your view on today.