We are all busy with the idea of change. We all have the assumption that we should have more of some things, less of some things. The struggle against ourselves is a waste of energy against what already is.
„I should be more athletic. I should sleep more. I should think more positively.
The problem with such ideas is the backwards law. Who should be more sporty, confesses to laziness. Who should sleep more, has already sleep problems. Who should think more positively, thinks already negatively. Every attempt at deliberate change creates counterforces in us that keep us from changing. Change happens by itself when I can accept what I already am and allow what I want to be.
This is the paradox of change. You give more attention to what you want to change. Only then does it gain the weight that is getting heavier and heavier on your shoulders.
Accepting what is is the best intervention for one’s own paradox. Anyone who stands on stage and confesses to being nervous has no nervousness left to hide. Those who admit to their laziness can do sport more easily. Those who admit to being negative sometimes take the first positive step.